Spring is at last upon us and with it comes the sweet sound of life renewing itself. These soft, whimsical thoughts filled my easily amused mind as I wandered the aisles of the internet this month. It is also this chain of thought that took me along the aisles labelled 'animal related merchandise'. Well, I may stretch the point a little as I found a distinct lack of merchandise to choose from, but there is definitely a link somewhere in here. Happy shopping. All items available from www.boysstuff.co.uk for delivery in Europe.

Buck the Stag Animated Trophy £199 / €278

This is just too exciting! This unique piece of art will not only enhance your home, but shock and surprise unsuspecting visitors as well. Buck the Stag is a disturbingly realistic recreation of the deer's head trophies of a bygone era, with a little extra feature. As well as crooning six classic songs including 'Sweet Home Alabama' and 'Suspicious Minds', Buck will say whatever you want him to (and that isn't even the best bit); you can make him do it by remote control from another room! Now that is the best bit. Buck is easily mounted on the wall using the bracket provided, doesn't need any complicated installation and works via remote control and wireless microphone. As well as singing, Buck can talk too; just speak into the mike and your words will come out of his mouth. As he speaks, Buck's mouth, head and ears all move in a lifelike manner. Buck also features a motion sensor, so he can spontaneously start singing when someone moves towards him. We think this is the best burglar alarmever! Just imagine the look on the intruder's face. It goes without saying that Buck opens up opportunities to scare the hell out of friends and loved ones.

Dog's Hawaiian Shirt from £7 / €10

If your dog is feeling a little jealous of all the time and attention you are giving to your new best friend 'Buck', then why not give him a little treat. This exquisite Hawaiian Shirt is just the thing to reassure Rover hat he still has a place in your food chain. These dog outfits are not only great fun, but are also lightweight and comfortable. Never again will you be ashamed of your dog's poor fashion sense.

Duckie Waterproof Massager £15 / €20

I have been humming "rubber duckie, you're the one…you make bathtime lots of fun…etc" ever since this one arrived for my perusal. This little cutie looks just like its original that still floats in my tub, but with a little extra va va voooom. Duckie is a highly effective and fully waterproof massage unit that just needs a gentle squeeze to get him going. Simply place Duckie anywhere you feel the need for a little stress relief to get an intense, vigorous and smile inducing massage. Duckie is 100% waterproof, making it ideal for use in a relaxing bath or shower. The manufacturers go on to mention something about Duckie being perfect for people who may embarrass themselves easily by forgetting to put away other, more obvious 'massagers'; but I don't think I need to go into that.

Colour SpyCam with Audio £40 / €56

Ever wonder if your buck is criticising your dog's fashion sense, or that the duck is getting abused in your absence? Well I include this handy little spycam just for you. The ultra-discreet tiny SpyCam allows you to record full colour footage of anything you like; with sound and completely undetected. This amazing miniature camera sends footage direct to your TV, VCR, computer monitor or security monitor. It's easily attached to most surfaces with the strong mounting tape provided and has a range of uses (other than spying on your pets) in the home or a business. If your pets are particularly bright, you may want to consider these options for true sneakiness. Take apart an out-of-use smoke detector, drill a tiny hole through the case and conceal the camera within; or attach the camera to the wall, drill a hole in a picture or sign and cover the camera with it. Those pesky pets will never suspect. The SpyCam is very easy to set up and you can record up to 12 hours of video footage (depending on the capabilities of the VCR and tape it's connected to).